Turkey Eating Gone Too Far:
Tiny little Sonya Thomas, world champion competitive eater, won the Turkey Eating Content in New York by wolfing down over 4 pounds of roast turkey in 12 minutes. I mentioned Sonya before last July 4th when she won the Johnsonville Brat-Eating World Championship in Wisconsin. She calls herself "The Black Widow" and has her own web site with photos and her world eating records.
And yes, she is STILL single. She is looking for a man with a really, really big... fridge.
The Big Stove Top Stuffing In The Sky:
When Thanksgiving Parades Balloons Go Bad:
I love parades. But sometimes, parades go bad! Two little girls were injured at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in New York when the M&M balloon attacked a lamp post, when in turn lost the fight and attacked the two little girls by falling on them. As a public service and protect small children everywhere, I have decided to publish a "Field Guide To M&M Balloonss" so you can tell the good from the bad.
| The Different Types of M&M Balloons | |
 |  |
| BAD | GOOD |
So I need to add to my list of parades to avoid from the first post:
Now parents. If you want to your kids to live past their 18th birthday, it is a good idea to avoid parades put on by (a) militant terrorist groups that feature live weapons built and manned by untrained idiots, (b) angry drunken college fraternities, (c) Feature "bad" M&M Balloons.
2 comments:
You are freakin' funny!
I saw that eating woman on Leno. Creepy to see someone inhale food like that. I remember about 20 years ago, a colleague who had clipped a National Enquirer article about spotting the aliens amongst us (if I remember correctly, plaid pants were a dead giveaway that you were sharing space with a Martian). I'd have to add this gal's eating style to that list. She's not from planet earth.
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